I've gotten so inspired the other day that I decided to interview some of my dear friends in Christ to share their thoughts on how important and beautiful Modesty is.
Hope you are blessed! :)
~What is your definition of Modesty?
Zach: "Presenting oneself in a way that does not attract undue attention.
Seeking to be pure before God and inspire purity in others, both in
thought and action. Living a lifestyle that points to God and away from
ourselves."
Karen: "Not wearing clothing or accessories that draw attention to yourself for
an ungodly reason. Sometimes dressing modestly can bring attention when
we are out in the world...but that is being obedient to God and can be a
testimony."
James: "Shorts not short shorts. Jeans not yoga pants. Can wear at home just
not in public. No cleavage showing shirts. Not a bunch of makeup making
them look like a clown.
Attitude: not being sensual. Clean language, manners, and integrity."
Eric: "Modesty is being quietly confident. It's knowing you're good enough that you don't have to put yourself out there."
Rameez (@StewardofJesus): "Dressing in such a way that you do not cause others to have impure thoughts by revealing your body or even the outline."
Allen: "First of all, I believe modesty applies equally to guys and girls. I
also believe it's about a lot more than just how much of ourselves we do
or don't cover up. It definitely includes not dressing too scantily.
But modesty is also about not being boastful, provocative, or
inappropriate in any of our actions or speech. It's about humility.
Humility before God and toward other people. It's about valuing
substance over appearance and about not putting too much emphasis on our
accomplishments or our blessings, realizing that all those things are
gifts from God. It's about being more interested in living and giving
generously than in building up ourselves by building up possessions or a
reputation."
Monica: "Respecting yourself and your body enough to know you don't need to show so much skin to get attention."
Rita: "The first word that comes to mind is "Ladylike"...then "respectful"...I
think that would cover manner of dress as well as the way we carry
ourselves. If your daddy or your grandpa would fuss at a certain type of
clothing you probably would be wise to respect their opinion. I would
say we should dress in ways that show our self respect as well as ways
to cause the respect of others. I truly believe that some of the modern
very short dresses, skirts, and low cut tops are not modest, even tho
they are in fashion and most girls dress that way."
Sylvia Liani: "Modesty is the quality of a person’s private being. This can be
discerned in the manner of ones style of dress or behavior. It most
often refers to ones form of dress or life style in general. Modesty
comes in many forms. It can be in our manner of dressing. In the things
we talk about or don’t talk about. Often the lack of it is a cry for
attention. To be paid attention to by others is a boost to a fragile
ego. Therefore it is often accompanied by the display of a persons
body. In a way that it excessively emphasizes her or his sexual
attributes. Modesty has benefits and values that extend far beyond an
attempt to stand out in the eyes of the opposite sex. It refrains from
indulging in anything that might harm its reputation. Attract the
opposite sex at the wrong time and for the wrong reason. It has
protective benefits that will enhance ones life in ways that nothing
else can. Modesty is a very valuable virtue. If you have it don’t lose
it. If you don’t have it develop it. It will take you far in this life.
And keep your heart from a heap of hurt."
Jerry Kay: "Higher standards."
~What is your definition of Immodesty?
Zach: "Presenting oneself in a way that attracts undue attention. Not seeking
to be pure before God or inspire purity in others, either in thought or
action. Living a lifestyle that points away from God and towards
ourselves."
Karen: "Wearing clothing that are revealing or draw attention to our bodies."
James: "Pretty much the opposite. Wearing short shorts, wearing yoga pants, having cleavage showing shirts, and having a bunch of makeup on their face.
Attitude: Being sensual, dirty language, no manners, and no integrity."
Eric: "Immodesty is being loudly insecure. The reason I say that is because
immodest people feel a need to put themselves out there to make
themselves to stand out. They feel like they need to put themselves out
there in some way, shape, or form to get an unfair advantage over
others."
Rameez (@StewardofJesus): "Dressing in a way that reveals your body too much or in a provocative lustful manner."
Monica: "Not being able to respect your body. I think it comes from not knowing
your worth in Christ and feeling the need to show more of yourself than
you should."
Rita: "Suggestive ways of acting or dressing and having a rebellious attitude that say I can dress or act anyway I want to."
Jerry Kay: "Low self esteem - One in dire need of attention."
~How do you feel when you see girls dressing Immodest?
Zach: "I think about my reaction. "Will I stare or glance or will I look the
other way?" I try to always choose to not look upon that which would
incite lustful thoughts. But being human I sometimes fail. I try to give
grace towards the person, as they may not know that they are dressing
immodestly, and may not understand how the male mind works."
Karen: "I feel sad for them. They like the attention they get but this attention
is not "good" attention. It is lust. And lust is ungodly and immoral.
Dressing like this is degrading oneself and shows that they do not have
respect for themselves."
James: "It depends on age. I don't want to see girls under 15 wearing yoga pants
and short shorts. Too young for it especially. I just don't really want
to be around them. It just makes me feel that they are too much into
themselves."
Eric: "I feel like it's unnecessary. It's heartbreaking. These girls FEEL like
they have to dress like this because they want guys to notice them, and
they go to great links to make sure that guys notice them and not the
other girls.
They don't feel like they're good enough to do it on
their own. They lack the confidence to be modest. In doing so they're
getting the guys attention, but it's the wrong kind of attention. It's
not the kind of attention they really want deep down inside."
Rameez (@StewardofJesus): "I feel really sorry for her and all the guys that would be engulfed in lustful thoughts."
Allen: "I feel equally bad when I see guys or girls dressing immodestly, whether
they choose not to wear enough clothes or seem to choose clothes just
to prove how much they can spend on them."
Monica: "Very saddened. It's just sad to see girls not respecting their body enough to feel the need to dress that way."
Rita: "I feel they are unlearned."
Jerry Kay: "Neanderthal and unstable."
~How do you feel when you see girls dressing Modest?
Zach: "I rarely think about that if I'm being honest because they do not draw
attention to themselves. They are not attention seeking. They exude
respectability. The emphasis is not on their appearance, although it
does not hide the fact that the woman is beautiful."
Karen: "Happy that they are confident enough in themselves that they don't feel the need to dress immodestly to get attention."
James: "I find them easier to talk to. And see that they are more likely to be
focused on their education and career than trying to be a magnet for the
wrong things."
Eric: "I feel good seeing a girl modestly dressed! My wife has always dressed
modestly, even before we started dating. It's that quiet confidence that
I found attractive. She didn't need to dress trashing to get my
attention. Her attitude and personality was enough to win me over.
Those two things are what makes a women truly stand out."
Rameez (@StewardofJesus): "I feel happy to know that a girl chooses to respect her body which is the temple of God."
Allen: "I see dressing and behaving in a modest manner as signs of self-respect
and true respect toward others. They're two of the most important
qualities that I look for in the people I choose to be around."
Monica: "It makes me really think that they know who they are. They know their
worth and they don't need to "show some skin" to get attention, but
rather they hold themselves confidently in the beauty on the inside and
not just how they look on the outside."
Rita: "I think it's sweet and ladylike."
Jerry Kay: "A warm feeling of self respect."
~Is there anything you would like to say to those who dress promiscuously? If so, what would you say?
Zach: "You may or may not know how you affect men's thoughts, but you can
choose to dress in a way that will help your brothers and not hinder
them."
Karen: "You will only attract those who lust after you...not those who truly care about you."
James: "You sure wouldn't want to see guys in yoga pants and short shorts. That's just nasty! lol!"
Eric: "You don't need to do this. I don't know if you know this or not, but
there's absolutely nothing wrong with you! You're funny. You're
beautiful. You've got an awesome personality! You don't need to dress
provocatively to get people's attention. You are a wonderful human
being. Be the lady God created you to be, not what the world tells you
to be."
Rameez (@StewardofJesus): "Dressing immodestly might appear to be fashionable and stylish but it is
not. It would just draw the wrong attention to yourself. Dressing
modestly may seem like you are hiding your body but you are actually
revealing your dignity."
Allen: "I think dressing provocatively encourages people to value us - and
others - primarily for what's on the outside. Even if we're comfortable
with our bodies and think we're okay with that, many people aren't. Many
people, regardless of how beautiful they are on the inside or the
outside, aren't satisfied with their appearance. They may resort to
dangerous or destructive means to compensate for that. Or they may feel
hopelessly lost in a world that places so much emphasis on how people
look. We can often contribute to creating that kind of culture without
even realizing it. Your worth is more than just how you look...and so
is theirs."
Monica: "True beauty really comes from the inside, and not by how much skin you show."
Rita: "I might give some advice of a better way. If it were not well received I
might say "You might attract attention, but you will soon discover it
will be the hurtful kind."
Jerry Kay: "The attention your getting isn't the kind that's lasting."
~What advice or tips do you have to help girls be less promiscuous?
Zach: "Ask a man you trust in your life to advise you on what draws the male
eye. Women don't always know what provokes lust in men, as we do not
think the same. Aim to dress in a way that will not cause a man to
stumble."
Karen: "You can still dress fashionably without revealing your body in any way."
James: "You need Jesus. For reals though. Live for Him not the World."
Eric: "Take your Dad, grandfather, an uncle you trust, or older brother to go
clothes shopping with you to help hold you accountable. If you don't
have any male relatives in your life, then take a good, Godly, grounded
female to help hold you accountable in how you dress. Let them judge if
you have too much showing."
Rameez (@StewardofJesus): "If you have to force yourself to put on the clothing, it may be immodest.
If it outlines your private parts, it is immodest.
If someone looks at a body part before the look at you, it's probably not modest.
A bikini is NOT modest.
If it reveals your thighs midway it is immodest."
Monica: "Realizing that the less skin you show, the more attention it brings to who you truly are on the inside."
Rita: "Pray and ask for the Lord's help."
Jerry Kay: "You don't have to use your sexuality to prove your womanhood."
~Do you feel desensitized by the sexual exploitation we see around us everyday?
Zach: "Totally. 100%. It's everywhere. It's reached the point of critical mass.
Still, there is always the opportunity for the church body to be a safe
haven from the pollution of the world. But to do that, we all must
examine ourselves."
Karen: "Absolutely, it's everywhere...magazines, TV, movies, web pages,
twitter, Facebook, billboards, advertising...we see it over and over and
we become used to it."
James: "Yes, the physical body gets it's urges, the mental making it harder,
while the spiritual one is trying to hold back those urges and think
purely."
Eric: "I think society as a whole is desensitized by the sexual exploitation.
Hollywood, the music industry, and the rest of the world keep pushing
year by year what's acceptable and what's not acceptable. What they're
pushing this year is much worse than what they pushed last year, and
now what they pushed last year doesn't look so bad, now. We're all
guilty of being desensitized."
Rameez (@StewardofJesus): "I feel rather concerned."
Allen: "Absolutely. I'm afraid we're all more affected by this than we even
realize. I also think believers have a responsibility to set ourselves
apart from it. To try and protect ourselves from the harmful effects of
this trend. And to help shield others from it as well. To show them that
not everyone bases the worth of a person solely on their outward
"attractiveness." To love them more like Christ loves them."
Monica: "Very much."
Rita: "I feel it's very bad for the youth. Children are encouraged to seek a love life before they've ever learned to love themselves."
Jerry Kay: "Very much so, it seems as though some people want to bring the human
race down to a level below what we are capable of achieving.
That is accomplished by appealing to the animal nature in the opposite sex..."
~How is Modesty attractive?
Zach: "Immodesty attracts lustful people. And on the flip side, modesty
attracts those who can appreciate the whole person. You will attract
someone who cares more about godliness than random sex appeal. It is in
effect, a way of opening the door for God to let the right person in."
Karen: "When someone is dressed modestly they shine thru. Their personality,
smile, eyes, etc are what people see. They are seen for who they really
are and not just as an object."
James: "It shows that the person has respect for themselves."
Eric: "Like I stated earlier, it displays a quiet confidence. It draws
attention to her attitude, personality, and brains, which is where the
really attractive qualities are found."
Rameez (@StewardofJesus): "It reveals your dignity. Decent guys love when women respect themselves and their bodies."
Monica: "It focuses on the beauty inward instead of just your outward beauty."
Rita: "It looks more like purity and wisdom."
Jerry Kay: "From a mans point of view...When we see a modest woman/man, we know this
person isn't trying to use her/his physical abilities to impress
me...and that appeals to my higher senses."
~Do you respect a girl who dresses Modestly?
Zach: "Tremendously. Modesty commands respect. Immodesty draws attention through cheap means. A modest person places value on herself."
Karen: "Absolutely."
James: "Yes."
Eric: "Yes, because she's confident in who she is on the inside. She doesn't
have to put herself out there: She places herself at a higher value, and
won't do anything to cheapen it."
Rameez (@StewardofJesus): "Yes always, I respect all women. I am just really concerned when I see immodesty."
Monica: "I do. It shows confidence and self respect."
Rita: "Yes."
Jerry Kay: "Very much so."
~Is Modesty important to you? Why or Why not?
Zach: "It is very important because the Bible addresses it. And personal
experience shows that it effects those around us. It is also important
because it reflects the values of a person."
Karen: "Yes. Because I love The Lord, I don't want to make others sin thru
lusting, and I feel good enough about myself that I don't need "fake"
attention."
James: "Yes, sure wouldn't want a showy wife! lol!"
Eric: "It is important to me. Jesus said that if we look at another woman and
lust after her in our heart that we've already committed adultery. It
starts with a look. When women are dressed immodestly it puts us men in
danger because we're tempted to look and lust. Life is hard enough. I
don't need more temptation heaped upon me! LOL!!"
Rameez (@StewardofJesus): "Yes because it is endorsed in the scriptures and also promotes respect
for oneself both male and female. Men also need to be modest."
Monica: "It is because I respect myself to know I don't need to show a lot of
skin to get attention, or to fit-in. I don't want to be a stumbling
block to the Godly men in my life."
Rita: "Yes, we need to make our world a better place with righteousness."
Jerry Kay: "Yes...It is important to this man not only because of religious views, but the stability it represents."
~Anymore thoughts and/or advice to share on this subject?
Zach: "First, modesty entails more than not dressing provocatively. 1 Timothy
2:9 says "women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with
modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or
costly attire,". It speaks of not presenting oneself in a way that draws
attention, and excessive adornment through accessories or jewelry can
fit this description. "Dressing to impress" is not biblical.
Secondly, men don't get a free pass. For example, I personally decided
not to go shirtless in public unless necessary, even when swimming. That
is my personal conviction and not something I hold others to. But, men
should think about their responsibility too. Are you wearing a shirt
that is 3 sizes too small for the sake of highlighting your build? Guys
are guilty of these things too and should search their hearts before God
about how they present themselves."
Karen: "Care about yourself. You are more precious than the evilness of lust."
Rameez (@StewardofJesus): "I believe the media has a lot of negative influence with the breakdown
of modesty. Dressing modestly does not mean you lack confidence. It
means you respect your body which is the temple of God."
Rita: "I really hope this makes a difference to any who read it."
Jerry Kay: "When any of us become consumed with the sexual side of our being, we are
not growing, and it causes stagnation in matters of higher purpose.
We
all discover our sexuality in childhood, it's part of being human.
However, when we don't grow past that phase of our lives it is a form of
mental problems and hangups."
Alysia: "Modesty is beautiful because it's respect to yourself, to others who are around you, and to God, for your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit."
"Guard your purity and it will guard you." ~ Lara Landon
